It is a fact of life that you can not please everyone all the time, no matter how hard you try there will always be people who are going to be negative towards you. It is also a fact of a writers life that you can not please everyone all the time, and you shouldn’t even try to.
Everyone deals with negativity in one way or another throughout their lives, when this negativity is aimed towards your passion it can hit home hard.
Accepting that not everyone is going to enjoy your writing, that some times people are going to disagree with your point of view, that there are people who will not understand what it means to be a writer, and that learning to deal with negativity is important part of being a writer if you hope to succeed.
Dealing with the “OH , You’re a Writer” Attitude
My hubby doesn’t understand my desire to write. Though he is not outwardly negative towards my passion, he is not overly supportive of it either. He does not see it on the serious level that I do, and he views it as more of a hobby, than a possible career. This light-hearted attitude has caused arguments between us in the past, I won’t lie. I have been offended on more than one occasion by his lack of interest in my passion for writing. He doesn’t get excited for me when I succeed in landing a project I have applied for, he doesn’t try to support me when I get frustrated with my writing, or when I face writer’s block. He pretends to listen when I talk about my writing, but the interest just isn’t there, and I can feel it…
A big part of being a writer, especially a freelance writer, is spending large amounts of time at home. Writing, and trying to make a living at it, means that sometimes there are days (even entire weeks) when I deal with no one but the people I live with. It means that after locking myself in the office for hours on end, I finally appear and try to push my current project from my mind to attend to my household duties and appear as normal human being to those that live alongside me.
There have been many moments when I have been absorbed in my writing, “on a roll” so-to-speak, and my hubby, hoping to get my attention or have me help with the children, has made a snide remark about my “silly writing”, or me “always sitting on the computer“, and I have just snapped…
This approach has never solved a thing, and simply leads to more negativity and hurt in the end.
Instead of being hurt by someone who does not see your writing in the same light you do, be driven by their easy-going attitude. If you must, use their lack of attention as motivation to succeed, to prove them wrong even.
There will always be people who give you that “Oh so you sit at home all day and do nothing” look when you announce that you are a writer, you would be surprised how many people actually believe that to be true. It is a fact that you can not control, what you can control is your reaction to them…
Dealing With Rejection
Ask any successful writer and they will tell you, you are always going to get more rejections than acceptances in your career, especially if you are just beginning. If you send an article to your favorite magazine and they return with nothing but a rejection letter you may start to question your writing, or you may even feel like a failure and consider giving up.. but don’t trow in the towel just yet. Just because one magazine doesn’t accept your style doesn’t mean none of them will. Perhaps that specific magazine doesn’t see your vision, may be they have no market for your article at the moment, or perhaps they have run similar content in the recent past and are simply in search of something new. Though it would be nice if every rejection came with an explanation, the truth of the matter is, many don’t. Editors are even busier that writer’s, thus they don’t have the time to individually reply to each submission they receive, many of the rejections sent to writers are automatically generated responses, and are not at all personalized to the content.
Don’t allow frustration to distract you, keep going full steam ahead. Submit the piece to other magazines and publisher, or set it aside to update at a later time. Whatever you do, don’t give up on a piece simply because it was rejected, if it was worth writing in the first place it is worth the work of finding someone who will appreciate it.
If you are lucky enough to receive a personalized response, and it does happen, take the advice and use it wisely. Constructive criticism is the greatest tool a writer can have. Don’t feel defensive, no one is a ‘perfect’ writer, even best-sellers get feedback regarding their novels, take the advice being offered with an open mind and utilize it to grow within your writing.
You will never please everyone, all the time, and if you try you are only going to end up disappointing yourself in the process. Have confidence in your abilities and take every achievement as a step towards success. Move forward and grow when you can. Find those people who will support you and hold them dear. Writing groups and online communities are a great place to find support, and get advice, find one in your area, online, or start one of your own.
Most importantly never give up, it is your passion, your dream, you must give it your all and aim for success, no matter what anyone says… If you set it in your mind it can be accomplished!
Until Next Time….
- Sweet Rejection (famelessramblings.wordpress.com)
- I’m perturbed. (lostinaseaofblogs.wordpress.com)
- The Highlights of My Week – Rejected Again (schizophrenicwriter.wordpress.com)
- Tuesday Morning and Nothing to Say (schizophrenicwriter.wordpress.com)
- Lessons from a Writer’s Conference (educlaytion.com)
- Writing Advice for Non-Writers (unsanityfiles.wordpress.com)
- I’m the Writer in the Family (kmittels.wordpress.com)
- take #2 (thechicklitz.com)